Losing Yourself in the Music and Finding Yourself in its Meaning

Great music is like a universal language, you may or may not understand the lyrics but you probably will understand what it is being conveyed. The musicians pour their hearts and souls into creating and performing the songs, literally bringing the music to life. Have you ever heard a song and somehow you feel as if you can relate in a deep and meaningful way? I personally have come across a few that really gets me feeling, well, I’m not sure how to describe it exactly because it’s something of a cocktail of emotions but even this analogy doesn’t seem to come anywhere close to describing it. These are the kinds of songs that I will be discussing.

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Outside of Writing – Taking a Long Hiatus and How I got out of Depression

It’s been months since I’ve actually written anything or posted a new article. I don’t feel the urge to write anymore, the reason I started this blog was to have an outlet of some frustrations and to scream in silence. I was suffering depression at the time, and it feels as if the world was crashing down on me, and every time I woke up I wished that I could fall asleep again, never to awake again. Times goes on, people around come and go, and I felt as if I was left behind. I was but an empty void, a nobody so out of nothingness I simply made this “Hayashi Sora” persona and from that point onward, I crawled out of the shit hole, and filled in that void.

Getting out of depression by yourself isn’t easy, and it takes practice. One of the ways I dealt with it was to drown out the negative thoughts with positive and happy music. Another way was have replacement thoughts in my head, and every time I had a thought that made me feel like shit, I would switch to a more productive thought. The most important thing to me at that stage was to stop depression from chaining me to inaction. If I entertained a negative thought long enough and it has the power to control me, so I simply didn’t give them the chance to. Hell, if I had time to be sad about everything, I had time to do something about it. So, I might as well break free from those blasted chains.

There are many things I’ve done wrong, and regret. So many things I wish to forget and leave behind. Self-hatred is one of the crippling factors during my depression. I had to learn to forgive myself for what I did, and find out how the mistake happened so that I can learn from it. I often fear that one day someone might dig up this dirt, and use it against me but burying all this in the dirt has left me paranoid. So I came up with a more creative solution to this problem. It’s my fucking dirt. I do whatever the bloody hell I want with it, so I might as well be true about it to my close friends whom I trust. I just can’t go on while constantly feeling guilty and remorseful, so I should confess it all, and get it off my chest. I’ve been minding this patch of dirt for too long, time to let it all go.

I was such a worry wart at heart, and I remember that back then I tend to carry a lot of unhealthy mental weight. So it was time to learn to let go, and to put it bluntly, I was learning to “not give a fuck” and started to mellow out. After a few months of lightening up my load, I didn’t feel the need to get mad at people. I simply don’t feel as if I wanted to convince anyone to see things from my perspective. So after a while I lost my will to write my long opinion posts. For the past 5 years in my life, at university, I have learned so many valuable life lessons. Having my life practically wasted by all the garbage around me was unfortunate. I still wish I could erase it all and start anew but alas, this is not how life works.

So other than my depression evaporating and having an outlet that I no longer need, another reason was that I started looking at other articles to write my own. I started dreading writing opinion articles, because they were too long and I kept feeling an urge to borrow ideas because I didn’t have enough of my own. While I could write a review or critique something, there are so many other people who could do it at the same level if not better than me. There was simply no need for me to write any reviews, or any “borrowed opinion” articles because that would mean that I lose my niche. Why should people come to my blog to read something that they can get somewhere else?

The plan now is that for the future of this blog, is that I will start posting creative content such as how to make props or some digital artwork I made. I’m still developing my skills by undertaking a design degree which I have recently enrolled in but I hope you will enjoy what I have to offer. That being said, my posts will be infrequent but I hope to have something to show you soon.

I probably should use my preferred name. People have been judging me thinking that I’m some weeb or otaku which I’m not. I’m simply an Anime and gaming fan. I’ll be signing off as “Neul” from now on.

Good Luck, Have Fun!

~Neul

SMASH 2016 – Socialising with the Fellow Cosplay Community from Near, Far and Wide

It’s over already?! Σ(゜ロ゜;) Where did my weekend go? I’m now starting to feel post-con blues, oh woe is me! In the previous years I enjoyed much of the panels and activities SMASH had to offer however, this year I attended but I didn’t do much of anything the convention had to offer. I realised now that going to SMASH is more than just going to the many events and I have a newfound appreciation of the convention itself simply by ignoring the timetables altogether. I was so hyped up on Saturday morning that I woke up so early in the morning and I couldn’t sleep! And I spent the rest of the day so drowsy with a headache! Oh SMASH, why are you so exciting?!

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Terra Formars verses Real Life – Terraforming Mars, Evolution, and Genetic Modification

In Terra Formars, humanity is plagued by the “Alien Engine Virus” that no one knows how to cure and so a crew of Humans who underwent a procedure to gain extraordinary abilities from various animals in nature will travel to Mars to capture “Terraformars”. These Terraformars are highly evolved cockroaches which supposedly have a link to the virus and so it is hoped that through the study of the Terraformars, a vaccine can be created to save those infected with the virus from dying. When watching the Anime, I simply can’t help but think that there’s more to the backstory than what is described in the events that occurred in the story so far. Perhaps if we analyse the legitimacy of the science of Terra Formars, we might get some insight into some possible plot directions. If the predictions are off, it would still be fun to nitpick on the science in the story anyway.

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A Commentary About Blizzard Entertainment’s Recent Game Design Philosophy

Blizzard has been often criticized for making their games to be “unoriginal” and “watered down” versions of the other games in the genre. With the recent release of Overwatch, many people have been criticizing it for its similarity to Team Fortress 2. Hearthstone was widely criticized as a Magic the Gathering ripoff, Heroes of the Storm was labelled as a heavily dumbed down version of a MOBA, Diablo III was considered to be too simple by many Diablo II players. Despite all of these critcisms, all of these titles are still performing well and it is clear that the obscene levels of Blizzard polish is making their games shine. It makes you wonder how these so-called “unoriginal” and “watered down” games could possibly be successful. I won’t comment on Diablo III because I haven’t been a long time fan of the series however for the rest of the games, are these criticisms really justified?

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Assassination Classroom vs Real Life – Teachers, Learning Environments and Educational Challenges

Warning – This article contains relatively minor spoilers. Please proceed at your own risk.

The over-arching plot in Assassination Classroom is basically, a very powerful and dangerous creature appears out of nowhere and becomes the teacher of class 3-E, the lowest performing class at Kunugigaoka Junior High School. So now the students of 3-E, aka the “End Class” are assigned with the task of killing their own teacher, and thus claim a bounty of 10 billion yen. The plot is quite interesting, as well as the well-developed characters that are supporting it however, there is another aspect of Assassination Classroom I wish to talk about in this article, and that is the apparent message being conveyed to us as viewers. As we see the class grow, develop and overcome challenges, we get a glimpse of the topics related to teachers, students and education that provokes some thought in how we think about teaching and learning.

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The Takedown Notices for Overwatch Porn are Completely Justified

Overwatch as you may know is a highly anticipated new First-Person Shooter by Blizzard Entertainment with over 9.7 million players participating in the beta. Given its popularity it comes to no surprise that Internet Rule 34 will easily come into effect, and thus there certainly will be Overwatch porn. However, what I didn’t expect was the porn derived from the characters from the game to be so popular with even many news articles posted about it by various media websites such as Kotaku. In the light of the recent DMCA takedown notices given to the porn makers from a digital company known as Irdeto USA, which is supposedly hired by Blizzard to “flush all the porn out”, there are many outcries from the about how Blizzard is restricting fan works or creative freedom etc. While I understand the sentiments of these creators, there is definitely more to these takedowns than simply “Blizzard doesn’t want you to see Overwatch porn”.

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